Family · imperfect · Sex and Relationships · truth

A Secret to a Happy Marriage

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Best day of my life!

Want to know one of the secrets to my incredibly loving, super fantastic, awesome marriage?


Seriously.  Carpooling.  Mark and I carpool to and from work together every day.  No, we don’t both work in the same building.  And no, we don’t both work downtown.  Our workplaces are about 8 miles apart from one another, but they are both in the same general direction from our house.  We do own two cars, but choose to carpool. We choose to carpool because it gives us a chance to have at least 45 minutes of alone time in the car together to and from work every day.  After the craziness that our lives bring with 3 kids and one on the way, it is nice to have the quiet time together where we can reflect on who we are as a couple.  Yeah, not every drive to and from work is a deep conversation about love, life, and our gratitude for each other.  Some days we sit in silence as the coffee slowly seeps into our brains and makes us humans again, BUT it is still time spent together.  And get this!  Most of the time, we hold hands in the car!  Gasp!  People think that is so weird.  Why is that weird?  Mark and I genuinely like each other, and even though we are married, we continue to like each other!

It seems like nowadays people are in love and do all the romantic courting up until they get married, and then it’s like everything stops.  Life gets stressful.  Bills need to get paid, babies are born, family events happen, and everything in life beyond the marriage becomes more important.  Why?!  Isn’t marriage the point when things are supposed to start, and the real fun is supposed to begin?  Mark and I lived together for about 2 years before we got married (a real NO NO since I grew up Catholic).  I remember people telling me that when we got married there would be nothing to look forward to since we already shared a life together.  Man, were they wrong!  The day I married Mark, things did change.  My happiness level was elevated even more (and I was pretty damn happy already)!  Being able to say that I was married to him, being married to him, that “piece of paper”, it all made me so happy.  I cannot explain it, but when we got married, it was like my life began again.  Why the heck would I take that for granted?  Why would I let everything else in life get in the way of the most important thing to me?

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Mark and I when we were dating.

So, as nerdy as it sounds, Mark and I choose to carpool everyday (and hold hands) because we cherish our time together.  As crazy as our imperfect lives get as soon as we get out of that car, we are still able to enjoy each other as we drive in perfect synchronicity towards our destination….whether that be to work or in life in general.

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Honeymoon in 2012, Antigua!

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